Fears and Tears

Watch and pray, these are the words that echo in my mind, watch and pray, so simple but difficult at the same time. When I want to share my deep pain that I am experiencing, the Lord says, watch and pray.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, saves those whose spirit is crushed. Psalm 34:19

It is enough that He knows and He is here with me. To go to Him in prayer; tell Him, He listens and He will answer. To remain in silent prayer from the depths of my heart and soul, especially when my the ability to pray has left. In that moment, the Holy Spirit comes in, the Comforter, the Healer and offers what I cannot to God. In my loneliness and despair, when I feel brokenhearted and alone, the Holy Spirit speaks to me without words, just an outpouring of love.

That is the moment I realize the truth, I am not alone, He is with me, He will never leave me in my suffering but joins me in it. That when much is being shaken up and loosened, it is being brought into the light to be healed, as if a weed is being pulled out and the entire root is exposed, the dirt shaken off. It is painful but necessary to experience healing. That is when the darkness flees and the light enters.

In the midst of this, I receive slivers of hope, tiny instances of grace that show me hope and lead me to the Lord and I am thankful. My daughter, be attentive, stay close, I am with you, I love you, watch and pray.

The Lord is near. Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Phil. 4:5