Fears and Tears

The Lord has whispered a word to me – “surrender”. A word that leads me into an array of emotions. There is fear of what the Lord is asking, a fear of the unknown, of what is to come; there is a sense of self-discipline that is needed to enter into a greater time of prayer and there is a sense of letting go in complete trust, following the Lord.

Let God push out your boat into the deep waters, toward the unfathomable depths of interior life. Diary of St. Faustina

When I think of surrender, I have images of learning to swim, specifically floating in the water, letting go and having the water support me, not by fighting it and sinking down, but relaxing in its cool waters remaining on the top. I have an image of learning to ride a horse, from walking to trotting to finally getting up to a gallop. It was a freeing experience, relaxing my body, feeling the wind rush by while my hair was blowing in the wind. I have an image of surrendering my heart to another after it has been broken, trusting another to love me as I love them.

Few souls understand what God would accomplish in them if they were to abandon themselves unreservedly to Him and if they were to allow His grace to mold them accordingly. St. Ignatius of Loyola

I remember these moments in my life and offer my surrender to the Lord, in my human way, in my fears, through my tears, I offer my surrender, because I trust He has me covered in His love. I fall into His arms and receive His embrace, and He says, “My daughter, it is good that you are here.”

Let your door stand open to receive Him, unlock your soul to Him, offer Him a welcome in your mind, and then you will set the riches of simplicity, the treasures of peace, the joy of grace. Throw wide the gate of your heart, stand before the sun of the everlasting light. St. Ambrose