Fears and Tears

Last week, I was awake at 4:00am and I wrote about an emotional and personal experience I was going through awaiting and receiving news about a close family member. The outpouring of prayers and love was incredible and I am so grateful.

I was awake so early, that I was able to write and post my blog in time to attend daily Mass that morning. I was in an emotional and vulnerable state, but I went anyway; I was crying uncontrollably, but I went anyway; I wanted to hide at home alone, but I went anyway.

The Lord shows me that when I draw close to Him and show Him my pain, He brings comfort and healing to me. When I allow myself to open up, to be honest and transparent; He pours out His grace into my life. It allows others to comfort me, to share their stories with me, to pray for me and my special intention, that is when I draw closer to the Lord, and others draw closer to me.

There are so many ways to draw closer to the Lord. I have found the Lord speaking to me through sacred scripture, the living Word. I have joined a bible study on the Gospel of Mark and I feel a drawing in to the Lord.

The Lord shows me that He is calling me by name to follow Him, that He is always moving forward, and He is calling me to action. The Lord is drawing me out of my comfort zone and drawing me closer to Him.

The scripture in particular is the calling of the First Disciples by the sea of Galilee. As He passed by the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and his brother Andrew casting their nets into the sea; they were fishermen. Jesus said to them, “Come after Me, and I will make you fishers of men.” Then they abandoned their nets and followed Him. He walked a little farther and saw James, the son of Zebedee, and his brother John. They too were in a boat mending their nets. Then he called to them. So they left their father Zebedee in the boat along with the hired men and followed Him. Mark 1:16-20

I feel the Lord is calling me by name to follow Him, that He is always moving forward, and He is calling me to action. The Lord is drawing me out of my comfort zone and drawing me closer to Him. Like the sea that is always in motion, so I am always in motion moving towards the Lord.

Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. James 4:8