Fears and Tears

The Third Sunday of Advent is called Gaudete Sunday from the Latin word meaning to rejoice.The rose colored candle is lit on the advent wreath and stands out from the violet candles. It is a time to rejoice, the Lord is soon coming.

In the readings this past weekend, I hear in the letter of St. Paul to the Thessalonians where he says to give thanks in all circumstances. And the Psalm is from Isaiah, which are the words of Mary, where she proclaims the greatness of the Lord, and she goes on to pray, that her spirit rejoices in God, her savior.

If I am honest, this year I don’t feel joy, but an emptiness and sadness. Loved ones that are no longer here, and the memories of past times are stirred up, bringing tears to my eyes. It can come from hearing a Christmas song, putting out a specific Christmas decoration that they gifted me, or not being able to hear their voice.

I am however, grateful to God for the sweet memories and the gift of family. I pray for His grace to surround me, especially where I am this year, when all I can feel is my broken heart. God is not afraid to enter there. He knows my thoughts, He knows my pain, He knows me. I rejoice in His tender care because He is close to me, He is my Comforter, He is my God.

The Lord offers me pink roses, they have thorns that hurt, but also have a lovely fragrance. I accept the roses and hold them close to my heart, because He is with me. Amen.