Fears and Tears

For God alone my soul waits in silence. He only is my rock and my salvation. Trust in Him at all times. Pour out your heart before Him. Psalm 62

Last weekend I spent a couple of nights in a small, private hermitage at a nearby retreat center. It is nestled in the woods and rustic. There is not running water or electricity, and the accommodations are simple. There is a hot plate with a kettle to boil water for tea and coffee, a heater, and a lantern. A food basket of bread, muffins, fruit and cheese is provided by the retreat staff as well as a few gallons of water.

It took me some time to enter into the silence and just be still. I liked that there was not a schedule to follow, and I prayed for the grace of surrender and for the Holy Spirit to lead me on this retreat. I was also being prayed for by the retreat staff, as well as family and friends, which I greatly appreciated.

I did take walks on the beautiful grounds, but much of my time was spent in my little cabin. I especially enjoyed the screened in porch, where the sounds of nature could be heard. I also saw many squirrels, birds, and deer right from the windows.

It was a serene space to read, to write, to pray. and to sleep. There were times when I was overcome with tears as different memories would surface. I shared my feelings with God, and I found great comfort and peace.

The Lord spoke to my heart in the silence and He said – My daughter, it is good that you are here, rest, surrender, let go, and be. Be still in the beauty that surrounds you. Breathe in the fresh, clean air. I am with you.

Thank you, my Lord and my God, for all that you revealed to me during this time of retreat. For the purple flowers dotted along the trails, the trumpeter swans, the green turtle sunning itself, the deer that came near my cabin, and all the other little things that made my heart filled with joy. Also, for the difficult burdens that you gently revealed to me, I am thankful that I faced them with You. I am grateful for Your love and care. Amen.

Silence….does good to the soul. St. Therese of Lisieux