Fears and Tears

The Gospel reading from Mass this past weekend touched my heart. St. Martha is one of my favorite saints. I definitely see my struggles with anxiety in a new way when I hear the dialogue between her and the Lord.

I read this scripture quite often, as it always brings out something new for me to sit with and to contemplate the words that stand out.

Jesus entered a village where a woman whose name was Martha welcomed him. She had a sister named Mary who sat beside the Lord at his feet listening to him speak. Martha, burdened with much serving, came to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me by myself to do the serving? Tell her to help me.” The Lord said to her in reply, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken from her.” Luke 10:38-42

I can relate to welcoming Jesus into my home and taking my eyes off Him. To be distracted, burdened, and weighed down. To feel self pity, alone, and unloved. To take the burden upon myself and let anxiety overtake my thoughts. But that is not living in the truth and it is far from peace.

Jesus loves Martha so much, He calls her by name twice, “Martha, Martha.” He sees her and He loves her. He desires for her to have peace in her heart, to choose the better part.

Jesus calls me by name. I feel an invitation deep within my heart to spend time with the Lord. I go and sit with Him.

My soul is flooded with light and I realize that beauty is all around me. It is the Lord and I walking in a beautiful garden. It is lush and green with many fragrant flowers. He takes me by the hand and leads me to a gentle brook.

He says, my daughter, the gentle water is washing over you, bringing you to new life.

I feel the warmth of the sun on my face and a single tear falls to the ground.

And I realize, there is need of only one thing, and I choose Jesus. Amen.