Fears and Tears

What constitutes a beautiful life? I believe beauty is all around us, we have to be aware of it. Beauty is not always what it seems, sometimes it is revealed later when looking back. It leads me to go deeper within myself, to see what is beyond the surface to get to the heart and to share that with others. This in turn, makes me aware that everyone has a unique story.

I cannot know you, God, unless I know myself; but, I cannot know myself unless I know You. St. Teresa of Avila

Beauty is transparent and truthful. It is a sharing a part of your life with others, being aware of those around you. It starts with a turning to God and others and away from self. It is a constant battle of will. To learn what my gifts are and how I can best use them. To continue to grow and learn, taking in the beauty of a well made film, spending time reading an engaging novel, watching a play unfold before my eyes or attending a concert with the music penetrating my soul, truly receiving the gifts of others.

“To keep a lamp burning we have to keep putting oil in it” Saint Teresa of Calcutta

I have always been highly sensitive with deep emotions. I had never thought of that as a gift. Especially when I was brought to tears, as it embarrassed me. I didn’t understand that it is a gift from God. A beauty when there are no words. Tears come from the depths of my soul speaking a language to God as He listens. It is a beautiful and tender moment.

Over the years, I have been searching for my purpose in life. This is not found in “self-help” books, but with self-knowledge. Being aware of my unique traits. Understanding that my sensitivity lends me to intercessory prayer and my introvert nature leads me to spend time in the silence. A perfect combination for prayer. Listening for the quiet voice of God to follow Him, and what He calls me to.

As each one has received a gift, use it to serve one another as good stewards of God’s varied grace. 1 Peter 4:10

Beauty is the simplicity of following God’s will. How beautiful all those years ago, when a young girl named Mary said yes to the angel of God. The beauty of her words as she praised and magnified God with a complete trust in Him.

How beautiful all those years ago, when a man named Joseph said yes to God when he had a dream and listened to what the angel told him; he was to be the father on earth to the Messiah. To be the Holy Family. With not a word recorded in the bible, Saint Joseph was a man of action and protection. A strong, humble and prayerful man.

How beautiful all those years ago, a baby born in Bethlehem, named Immanuel, God with us. To give everything of Himself, to dwell with us on earth. To bring peace and truth and love to all; this is the most beautiful gift of all.

What a beautiful life it is. May the joy of Christmas be a light for the world. Merry Christmas.

“Celebrate the feast of Christmas every day, even every moment in the interior temple of your spirit, remaining like a baby in the bosom of the heavenly Father, where you will be reborn each moment in the Divine Word, Jesus Christ.”– St. Paul of the Cross