Fears and Tears

Almost ten years ago, I ventured to a small village in Bosnia called Medjugorje, where I had some incredible experiences. It was here that I met St. Veronica.

It happened while I was climbing Cross Mountain. I had fear before the climb because the mountain was steep and the path rocky. We did this climb as a group, and I climbed with a friend side by side on the way up and the way down.

Before we began, I picked up a rock, which symbolized my “fear”, and I carried it to the top of the mountain. There is a large, concrete cross at the top, with the True Cross of Christ relic embedded deep inside of it. It was to surrender my “fear” symbolized in the rock placed at the foot of the cross, from my hands to the hands of Christ, for His healing.

The climb is slow and it is a pilgrimage as we prayed as a group, the stations of the Cross on the ascend, the way of sorrows.

It was a hot, dry day and I wore a hat and my friend wore a bright pink bandana around her forehead. The group would stop at each station, and the leader would read the meditation, and we would be silent and let the words speak. The higher I climbed, the harder it became, as if the cross was bearing down on me.

Not looking up to see what station I was at next, and trying to catch my breath, my friend took off her bandana and wiped her brow. This action struck me and I gazed up at the stone marker of the station we were at; it was the sixth station, Veronica wipes the face of Jesus. I felt a sweet relief, a comfort overtook me and I had a renewed strength to continue up the path. I felt the act of love and courage of Veronica, an intimate act that the Lord blessed and He poured His love back on her in an incredible way. His Most Holy Face was imprinted on her cloth and on her heart, a true gift of self. She received the true love of God in her being, the depths of her body and soul, and I felt as if I was sharing in that moment as if time had stopped, and it was a beautiful moment.

I had a renewed energy as I continued the climb up the mountain, following the Lord on the way of the Cross. At the top, I prayed as I placed my rock representing “fear” at the foot of the cross, surrendering it to the Lord, to His heart from my heart.

It was a beautiful, panoramic view at the top and I did not have fear on the way down. I was overcome with a joy that was supernatural and it was as if we skipped down the mountain in laughter.

The day I met St. Veronica made me realize that the Lord blesses me with those He places in my path, this pilgrimage of life; and I receive His imprint of love, it resonates in my heart, like a burning flame of fire, a love that cannot be extinguished, a love from above, and it is a beautiful gift.

Reflection by Cardinal John Henry Newman
The Sixth Station:
The Face of Jesus is wiped by Veronica
V. We adore thee, O Christ, and we bless thee.
R. Because by thy holy Cross thou hast redeemed the world.

JESUS let the pious woman carry off an impression of His Sacred Countenance, which was to last to future ages. He did this to remind us all, that His image must ever be impressed on all our hearts. Whoever we are, in whatever part of the earth, in whatever age of the world, Jesus must live in our hearts. We may differ from each other in many things, but in this we must all agree, if we are His true children. We must bear about with us the napkin of St. Veronica; we must ever meditate upon His death and resurrection, we must ever imitate His divine excellence, according to our measure. Lord, let our countenances be ever pleasing in Thy sight, not defiled with sin, but bathed and washed white in Thy precious blood.