Fears and Tears

The Lord has shown me this week that when I am honest with myself and admit that I need help, that is when things begin to change. When I hold tight to them, keeping those areas hidden, with the thought that I alone can change them, very little happens.

Do you want to rise? Begin by descending. You plan a tower that will pierce the clouds? Lay first the foundation of humility. Saint Augustine

I have a couple areas that have been a struggle for awhile. I want to face them and work through the complexities. One area that I am working on is my overeating; which gets out of control when I am stressed, anxious or worried. It is not the thing itself that I struggle with, but the hidden issue, and it becomes a pattern. I thought I had a problem with food, but there is a deeper underlying matter to deal with. I recently learned this when it was pointed out to me, and it has made me look at things differently.

I am beginning to face these areas and work through them with the help of God. He provides the help that I need and I have to be open to that. To recognize my part and step out in faith. For me to put God first and bring Him into my life and my struggles; to pray, to trust and to surrender all to Him. To realize that I have a great dependence on Him and I cannot do this alone.

That I must also do my part and have a plan; setting goals and doing specific actions, following through while having accountability with someone I can trust to walk with me. To be purposeful, honest and realistic about the journey. This has allowed me to get back on track and open my eyes to what I had been avoiding. It has allowed me to have a starting point so I can begin, and change is starting to happen in my life.

It is not so overwhelming to take day by day, just a little step forward can change things in a big way over time. It also creates the “snowball effect” and other things begin to fall into place.

The song by Matt Maher, “Lord, I Need You”, has impacted me this week. It really speaks to where I am in my life. That I need the Lord as my foundation and He will provide for me. That when I spend time with Him, I can discern His will for my life, by listening for His voice. I can spend more time in prayer, and in doing this order my day after this discipline. It brings more focus, direction and peace into the daily routine.

Thank you Lord, for never leaving my side and showing me great love. The opening lyrics to Matt Maher’s song, “Lord, I come, I confess, bowing here, I find my rest. Without You, I fall apart, You’re the One that guides my heart. Lord, I need You. Every hour I need You“, touches my heart.

I realize my dependence on God, and a weight is lifted off my shoulders. I take one step forward, with the Lord beside me and I walk with Him. I may fall on the way, but He will be there to help me up, I just have to remember not to let go of His hand. But if I do, it will be ok, because He will pick me up. He is kind and merciful. I can feel the warmth of His touch, and the peace of the Lord covers me, like a warm blanket; My Comforter, My Rock, My Lord, and I whisper to Him, “Lord, I Need You.”