Fears and Tears

The Lord speaks these words to me, “My daughter, why do you keep returning to the tomb? I am not there. What draws you to the place of the dead? It is not my voice that calls you there. Turn back to the garden, follow Me and I will bring your peace. Come, sit with me and you will see.”

Lord, I follow You into the garden and a gentle breeze brushes my cheek. You know me so well and the garden is full of my favorite flowers. The sweet smell overtakes me and I am caught up in the beauty that surrounds me. There is a great light in the garden and its heat warms me. I feel a deep love as You call me closer.

The light is the Lord and I long to keep close to Him. But in my humanness and brokenness, I turn away to other things that distract me. I begin to step away from the oasis where the Lord has called me and I find myself in a briar patch where thorns scratch me, barren roots grab me and begin to wrap around my ankles, the uneven ground makes me stumble and trips me as I fall to the dry soil below.

It is an ongoing process in overcoming my virtue struggles and to continue on the pursuit of Holiness. With the help of God, I must deliberately choose to turn away of what leads to death and turn towards what leads to life. In my weakness, I can see the strength and majesty of the Lord. In this realization, I learn much about myself.

The Lord, in His goodness, walks with me and does not leave me alone. He is the truth, the way and the life. He is the Living God that surpasses time and space. He calls me, His little daughter, to follow the path He has prepared for me. I turn to Him and begin again, it is a new day, and I come back to the garden.

Whatever the true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, do; and the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:8-9.